trouble sleeping.

just felt like... i needed some closure with my night. to go to bed with my mind at peace with God and with everything that's been getting to me.

so if you've ever read Psalm 23, it's one of the greatest comforts people can hear in times of trouble. verse 4 particularly talks about even though we may walk through the valley of death, we shouldn't be afraid because God is with us. His rod and staff give us comfort.

we are born into a world of trouble. some people say that when babies are born, they cry because it shows that their lungs and stuff are ok. but think about it... a baby was so secure in the mother's womb where it just had to sit and be happy without a care in the world because the baby was being cared for so greatly by the mom. when they were hungry, the mom provided. so some argue that the baby is crying because he/she was taken out of the comfort zone into a world of unpredictability and trouble. interesting idea... i wish i was still a baby.

i hate trouble. even though i know it's all there for me for a reason... i still hate it. it brings me down a lot and... it just puts me in a place that i hate to be. there are times when it feels like life has really gotten me down and its like... why is this happening? why me?

but my constant comfort in these times is always God's promises. always always always. dark valleys are scary but... it's not like you live in the valley. there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. i just have to remember that there's purpose in what i'm going through and valleys are just part of the natural landscape of the world. i have to go through it. and i will.

i know this is weird but... when we say WHY ME? we should be turning that around to WHY NOT ME? like... ok. i'm stupid. hahaha. i look at problems and focus on the negative. SO NEGATIVE. i suck at being positive sometimes. but yeah. why not me? because troubles are GOOD. why do we have to worry when we are being lead by the guy who created the problem. surely He knows His way around and is leading us on the right path. right? right.

trouble is like fire. it's scary and it hurts us. but it's necessary. God uses trouble to purify us. just as the analogy goes, we are refined in the fire as gold is. the goldsmith never takes His eye off of the work in progress and knows the right time to take the gold out of the fire. if He still sees impurities, the gold will continue to be refined until it is totally pure and He can see His reflection clearly in the gold.

get it? hope it makes sense and you could make the connection.

trouble isn't put it in our way to make us uncomfortable and what not. it's to help make us plyable for different situations and to build our faith and dependence on God to lead us through it. even though sheep are in scary situations like in a dark valley, they don't get scared because they keep their eyes fixed on the shepherd who is slowly leading them safely. and we musn't run through the valley but walk. you can't rush through things and expect things to be alright. you need to have assurance in your steps and where you are planting your feet.

like... have you ever seen those fences that filipinos have? they take broken glass and put it on the top so that people can't like... hop over it or whatever. but you can see cats walking on them. they don't run through them though. they take their time choosing each step wisely.

we should be like those cats. hahaha. so many animal analogies. but they make sense right?

but yeah. imma wrap this up because i wanna sleep soon. stupid school. hahaha. i just wanted to go over my notes from sunday to refresh my mind and put things into perspective.

so yeah. i guess with my problems, i always over think things. but it's just because... i forget to rely on God's protection and focus on the scary shadows in the valley. but remember, they're only shadows. they're bigger than reality and can scare us. but on the other hand, they can't harm us and most importantly, they can only appear when there is a light source. understand? coolness...




scared? what was i thinking... =P


goodnight!