today felt like... such a waste. hahaha. well it wasn't. i just slept a lot.
woke up SUPER super early to study. yuck. i hate studying. the test surprisingly was not that intense. like... it was hard of course. but i knew a lot of the things. i just hope i did as well as i think i did... then yeah. super boring long break. just print hw, write out the 30 toys i had to research for my socio project and yeah. BLAH. so tedious. i hate it. then just sit in the maxson center playing video games with justin and ria. zomy...
BORING I TELL YOU!!!
then sociology. i fell asleep again! ugh... but yeah. got done with my week! PRAISE GOD! it was one of the hardest school weeks by far. AND I DID IT! proud right? hahaha.
then yeah... went to target to buy clothes. sadly i forgot about buying some body wash... -___- which was half of the reason i went there in the first place. i guess i got too excited for buying shirts. hahaha. target is kinda stepping it up clothing wise. hahaha. a lot of great stuff. the guys section is NOTHING compared to the girls but yeah. they even reminded me of like... a wanna be american apparel with these super trendy color blank tees.
i kinda hate buying new clothes because they have those ugly creases in the shirt when you put it on. i always have to wash them. but then you wash and you get scared because you might dry it wrong and end up with a shirt half the size you wanted with a super retarded looking colar that looks like belongs to part of a brain instead of on your neck. a little joke about pia mater or the gyri and sulci for you health and human services majors. HAHAHA.
that was not funny.
then yeah. went home and got excited looking all these BIG BOXES. RJ'S CLOTHES! ALL MINE!!! FINALLY!!! so i grabbed a knife and destoryed the tape and rummaged through all the boxes. there were about... 6? COOL RIGHT?! THINK OF ALL THE CLOTHES!!!
that was fun not.
sigh... turns out one box was just full of scarves, another was a small tv, another was shoes that do not fit, and others were these super ugly jackets. hahaha. sorry rj. i had SUCH HIGH HOPES for you. you failed me...
BUT THEN... i saw the huge duffel bag. SHIRTS!!! so i opened that sucker up with the quickness. SHIRTS!!! hahaha. zomg... BIGGEST WASTE OF TIME EVER IN LIFE! i spent like... a good 15-20 mins looking and yeah. all i found was... a sweater that was like super bright blue which i do not even like that much. and all the clothes smelled like they were stacked in boxes next to a cargo full of dirty chicken. so of course, i in turn smelled like those animals.
shower obv.
then cook some amazing tilapia if i say so myself. yummy. then play catch up with some well deserved sleep. yizzur.
yay bible study tonight. i'm excited. this is why God chose to give me a van and not some awesome civic that i would spend bills on to make it jdm.
oh japanese domestic... how i used to love you.
THASS IT.
Friday, February 27, 2009
God is.
my strength
saving grace
hope
peace
joy
no problem is greater than God's provision for us to endure it and find that peace within the storm.
nothing is bigger than God.
no joke, devotionals are amazing and are THE WAY to start the day. especially before you cram RIGHT BEFORE a midterm. hahaha.
GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANATOMY TESTS! HAHAHA<333
saving grace
hope
peace
joy
no problem is greater than God's provision for us to endure it and find that peace within the storm.
nothing is bigger than God.
no joke, devotionals are amazing and are THE WAY to start the day. especially before you cram RIGHT BEFORE a midterm. hahaha.
GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANATOMY TESTS! HAHAHA<333
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
tears.
today, i couldn't help but cry. i hate when people leave my life. it's like... one of the FEW things that break me. my God, and my loves. those two things are the only things that can break my heart like that. i just stood there in the shower trying my hardest to hold back my tears. and even now, i can't hold them back...
i think back to times when i used to hate my dad because of all the restrictions and how he would yell at me for things. that's just his character. but i took it for granted. i took HIM for granted. i grew comfortable with the idea that when i get home, he'll automatically be there. we wouldn't really talk because we'd always be busy with our own thing. and now he's going to be gone from my family for 6 months. i seriously wanted to YELL that right now. because I HATE MYSELF for not spending time with my dad like i would have wanted. i always complained that my family wasn't that close because we're always off in our own separate worlds that are our computers and rooms. but it's not just their fault, IT WAS MINE. i didn't make the effort to do those things.
i just hope it's not too late.
i love my father SO MUCH. even though he can be hard at times, i know he was always putting my best first in his mind. he told me things i didn't want to hear, but i needed to hear. he held me when i needed someone. i just pray SO HARD that when he's gone these few weeks, God just watches over him so closely that when he's in the philippines doing God's work, he'll be able to come home to us safely.
i'm even more scared for my mom. i don't even know how she's going to deal with this separation. my parents are THE BEST team. i have never met parents like them. not just because they're my own and i'm so grateful to have them, but i never have seen parents devoted so greatly to God. making God the center of everything. it's amazing. it's what keeps them together.
it's like... they're the perfect example of God's love for us, His children. my mother is the soft side that shows so much compassion. a love that never grows cold. one that is ALWAYS there to come running to when you're broken and she'll be there to comfort you and let you know everything is going to be alright. my father, the firm love that won't let you quit on yourself. the kind that is hard on you, but never too hard to break you. one that challenges you to help develop your character into the right person. but at the same time, he has a soft side that knows when you need to feel that love and just be like that mother. and he isn't afraid to show it. real men today are so stupid. you need to be MACHO and super strong and not show your true feelings. it takes courage and a real man to be secure in himself that it's ok to show your true feelings and cry or something. anyone can put up a mask, a facade. how many of you are willing to take down those walls and let yourself be vulnerable?
i'm not saying i'm a real man or anyting, because i honestly don't think i am.
God's love is so great. greater than we can ever imagine. He is our Father. one that loves us so much, these children that don't even know Him or acknowledge Him for the things He does for us all the time. He died for us, DIED. like... went through the greatest punishment EVER IN LIFE for us. these children so undeserving. who are WE that this great God would put His life on the line, His son. we broke the laws of our Lord, so we deserve death to fulfill that penalty put on our sins. but no, God said that He would take the punishment for us instead. He loved us that much. so much. a love that this world can never show you. nothing on this earth can match this great love. it's like trying to shove a square shape into a triangle shaped hole. nothing's going to fit. thing's may seem to fit and slip through, but how long does that last?
iono where i'm going with this. just random thoughts running through my head after my devotional.
have you ever done a devotional? you should try it. it takes like less than 10 minutes to read. it could change your life.
God loves you. so much. embrace it.
i think back to times when i used to hate my dad because of all the restrictions and how he would yell at me for things. that's just his character. but i took it for granted. i took HIM for granted. i grew comfortable with the idea that when i get home, he'll automatically be there. we wouldn't really talk because we'd always be busy with our own thing. and now he's going to be gone from my family for 6 months. i seriously wanted to YELL that right now. because I HATE MYSELF for not spending time with my dad like i would have wanted. i always complained that my family wasn't that close because we're always off in our own separate worlds that are our computers and rooms. but it's not just their fault, IT WAS MINE. i didn't make the effort to do those things.
i just hope it's not too late.
i love my father SO MUCH. even though he can be hard at times, i know he was always putting my best first in his mind. he told me things i didn't want to hear, but i needed to hear. he held me when i needed someone. i just pray SO HARD that when he's gone these few weeks, God just watches over him so closely that when he's in the philippines doing God's work, he'll be able to come home to us safely.
i'm even more scared for my mom. i don't even know how she's going to deal with this separation. my parents are THE BEST team. i have never met parents like them. not just because they're my own and i'm so grateful to have them, but i never have seen parents devoted so greatly to God. making God the center of everything. it's amazing. it's what keeps them together.
it's like... they're the perfect example of God's love for us, His children. my mother is the soft side that shows so much compassion. a love that never grows cold. one that is ALWAYS there to come running to when you're broken and she'll be there to comfort you and let you know everything is going to be alright. my father, the firm love that won't let you quit on yourself. the kind that is hard on you, but never too hard to break you. one that challenges you to help develop your character into the right person. but at the same time, he has a soft side that knows when you need to feel that love and just be like that mother. and he isn't afraid to show it. real men today are so stupid. you need to be MACHO and super strong and not show your true feelings. it takes courage and a real man to be secure in himself that it's ok to show your true feelings and cry or something. anyone can put up a mask, a facade. how many of you are willing to take down those walls and let yourself be vulnerable?
i'm not saying i'm a real man or anyting, because i honestly don't think i am.
God's love is so great. greater than we can ever imagine. He is our Father. one that loves us so much, these children that don't even know Him or acknowledge Him for the things He does for us all the time. He died for us, DIED. like... went through the greatest punishment EVER IN LIFE for us. these children so undeserving. who are WE that this great God would put His life on the line, His son. we broke the laws of our Lord, so we deserve death to fulfill that penalty put on our sins. but no, God said that He would take the punishment for us instead. He loved us that much. so much. a love that this world can never show you. nothing on this earth can match this great love. it's like trying to shove a square shape into a triangle shaped hole. nothing's going to fit. thing's may seem to fit and slip through, but how long does that last?
iono where i'm going with this. just random thoughts running through my head after my devotional.
have you ever done a devotional? you should try it. it takes like less than 10 minutes to read. it could change your life.
God loves you. so much. embrace it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
1's and 2's
sigh... i wish my dreams of turntablism worked out better.
i really miss my stanton t.60s. i just wish i had a better mixer that cuts clean instead of the crap i had. AND i wish the lady at stupid guitar center didn't lie and sell me the fake idea of serato. sigh...
scratching is so dope! but yeah. quite the expensiveness. oh well.
can't get everything you want in life. just be thankful for what God has already blessed you with, right?
i want cookies and milk... hahaha
i really miss my stanton t.60s. i just wish i had a better mixer that cuts clean instead of the crap i had. AND i wish the lady at stupid guitar center didn't lie and sell me the fake idea of serato. sigh...
scratching is so dope! but yeah. quite the expensiveness. oh well.
can't get everything you want in life. just be thankful for what God has already blessed you with, right?
i want cookies and milk... hahaha
chance.
ever hear the story of job?
God and satan had an idea to test job, one of God's greatest followers. the deal was to let satan do whatever to him, but not kill him and they were to see if He would curse God. so satan killed his whole family, destroyed his riches, killed off all his flocks. furthermore, he was inflicted with burning boils all over his body which he ended up just scratching with a piece of a pot.
imagine that. losing EVERYTHING you had. everything you've ever worked for. EVERYTHING. that's such a hard thing to fathom. i can barely imagine my life without the people in it. even just not having the bed i'm laying in right now.
the amazing thing is that despite the tragedy and everything that was happening, job NEVER cursed God. job didn't know the circumstances or reason why this was happening, but he trusten in his Lord that it was His will. still he praised God no matter what.
NO MATTER WHAT.
you know, many people believe in chance and luck. stuff of that sorts. but for me, i know my life isn't just a big clutter of happenings that I can define by the things i do. everything i do, it happens for a reason. the feelings i feel, the thoughts i think, everything. it all happens because God put it in me. not myself.
chance has no part in our life. nothing comes into our lives without God's permission.
crazy huh.
just wanted to share my devotion with whoever's out there reading. hope you took something from it.
have a blessed day.
God and satan had an idea to test job, one of God's greatest followers. the deal was to let satan do whatever to him, but not kill him and they were to see if He would curse God. so satan killed his whole family, destroyed his riches, killed off all his flocks. furthermore, he was inflicted with burning boils all over his body which he ended up just scratching with a piece of a pot.
imagine that. losing EVERYTHING you had. everything you've ever worked for. EVERYTHING. that's such a hard thing to fathom. i can barely imagine my life without the people in it. even just not having the bed i'm laying in right now.
the amazing thing is that despite the tragedy and everything that was happening, job NEVER cursed God. job didn't know the circumstances or reason why this was happening, but he trusten in his Lord that it was His will. still he praised God no matter what.
NO MATTER WHAT.
you know, many people believe in chance and luck. stuff of that sorts. but for me, i know my life isn't just a big clutter of happenings that I can define by the things i do. everything i do, it happens for a reason. the feelings i feel, the thoughts i think, everything. it all happens because God put it in me. not myself.
chance has no part in our life. nothing comes into our lives without God's permission.
crazy huh.
just wanted to share my devotion with whoever's out there reading. hope you took something from it.
have a blessed day.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
worry.
i worry too much. my friend's have said it. my mom even said it to me just now.
sighhh...
i hate that about me. i worry so much to a point where it totally consumes my mind. i think wayyy too hard about the future and what's going to happen next. if i'll be ok, if others will be ok, what's going to happen next, where am i going.
God is my shepherd. i am the sheep. He leads me. therefore, i should not worry about where i'm going. it's all in God's hands. He never gives up on His sheep. His love never changes.
amazing love.
ew. i hella did not do my devotional this weekend. -___- that threw me off a lot. yucky.
but still, i will rejoice. =D
GOODNIGHT!
sighhh...
i hate that about me. i worry so much to a point where it totally consumes my mind. i think wayyy too hard about the future and what's going to happen next. if i'll be ok, if others will be ok, what's going to happen next, where am i going.
God is my shepherd. i am the sheep. He leads me. therefore, i should not worry about where i'm going. it's all in God's hands. He never gives up on His sheep. His love never changes.
amazing love.
ew. i hella did not do my devotional this weekend. -___- that threw me off a lot. yucky.
but still, i will rejoice. =D
GOODNIGHT!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
broken.
never in day (well night) have i broken my new years resolution so many times. yuck...
it's just kinda gross how after being good for a while, there's always still that old nature i have hidden in the back back of me that comes out when i'm not thinking.
but yeah. like in 2 Corinthians, i know this problem isn't REALLY a problem. it's something i have to go through. =P and i know i'll get over it. someday.
that's my problem i think. i want change to happen NOW! like... i expect things to occur right after i say them or soon after. but yeah. that's not how life goes. everything is BABY steps. you go slow. really really slow. no need to rush. if you rush it, you might mess up right? HAHAHA! i hella used that in my essay yesterday.
but yeah. on a serious note. it's not the best way to RUSH somewhere right. you have to drive slow, watch out, make sure everything is safe and secure before you make the next move.
rome wasn't built in a day.
HAHA I USED THAT TOO!
ugh im so lame. honestly, i'm just burning minutes before i feel that i should go to school. ugh... i hate my nose btw. i can NEVER breathe through both sides. one side is always (no joke. ALWAYS) stuffed with whatevers. iono... it's been like this for years. i barely have moments when i breathe deep with both of my nostils. i'm so jealous of people with awesome noses. hahaha. i wonder why i can't breathe through both... i talked to my doctor and she said try that thing where people use like... tea pot kinda things and put it in their nose and have the water run through. wow... hahaha. MAYBE? it looks kinda interesting. kinda... soothing? but it looks really weird.
if anyone has one, can i borrow?
whatevs. no big deal.
i guess i'll go to school now... -____________________- hahaha
God is good.
it's just kinda gross how after being good for a while, there's always still that old nature i have hidden in the back back of me that comes out when i'm not thinking.
but yeah. like in 2 Corinthians, i know this problem isn't REALLY a problem. it's something i have to go through. =P and i know i'll get over it. someday.
that's my problem i think. i want change to happen NOW! like... i expect things to occur right after i say them or soon after. but yeah. that's not how life goes. everything is BABY steps. you go slow. really really slow. no need to rush. if you rush it, you might mess up right? HAHAHA! i hella used that in my essay yesterday.
but yeah. on a serious note. it's not the best way to RUSH somewhere right. you have to drive slow, watch out, make sure everything is safe and secure before you make the next move.
rome wasn't built in a day.
HAHA I USED THAT TOO!
ugh im so lame. honestly, i'm just burning minutes before i feel that i should go to school. ugh... i hate my nose btw. i can NEVER breathe through both sides. one side is always (no joke. ALWAYS) stuffed with whatevers. iono... it's been like this for years. i barely have moments when i breathe deep with both of my nostils. i'm so jealous of people with awesome noses. hahaha. i wonder why i can't breathe through both... i talked to my doctor and she said try that thing where people use like... tea pot kinda things and put it in their nose and have the water run through. wow... hahaha. MAYBE? it looks kinda interesting. kinda... soothing? but it looks really weird.
if anyone has one, can i borrow?
whatevs. no big deal.
i guess i'll go to school now... -____________________- hahaha
God is good.
Monday, February 16, 2009
inconsiderate.
this is my rant for today...
so it was an alright morning. had a good night and woke up on time. fixed my new hair. oh btw i got a hair cut. and fixing in the morning is like... wow. i need a BLOW DRYER. how gay right? hahaha. so now i think imma set my alarms 10 mins earlier now... -___- unless i decide to beanie it up. well anyways. it was alright. rain didn't bother me much. class was EH. i forgot my lecture notes so i just sat there studying and texting people. goodness. then yeah.
the beginning of the held back anger...
HAHAHA. that sounds so interesting.
oh but before that. i just have to say, i changed my bed sheets the other day and ZOMG. these sheets totally own my old ones. they're SUPER soft. i love it. hahaha.
but yeah. so typical break. justin, jeff, gerald, and i were sitting in the union playing pusoy dos and yeah. fun stuff. then i hear a drop and my feet are suddenly wet. some guy drops his drink on my feet as he sits down at the table beside me. i naturally said its ok kuz im not gunna get mad at him. im not even sure if i heard him say sorry. but yeah. he just SAT THERE like wth... he did not even make an effort to clean up or offer to help me. meanwhile, i walked to the bathroom 4 or 5 times getting wads of paper towel to clean up his ice tea that was all over the floor where i was sitting. ugh... all he did was get up and get more ice tea. i was just.. stunned how he simply sat there eating and watching tv while i was bent down cleaning up the mess. i really wanted to hold it back but i said a lot of bad stuff. it was kinda hard to keep my cool and stuff. i was just like... wow. wth... cmon man. i hope there was a legit reason he acted the way he did.
but yeah. i'm glad i was raised the way i was. to be respectful and calm when it comes to things like that. i might burst out when its like... people i'm comfortable or close with but i'm not going to blow up on someone that i don't even know. but seriously, i wanted to take the paper towels i was wiping the floor with and just throw it in his face. ughhh. hahaha.
ANYWAYS. that's all. now i'm home. dry. toasty. these bed sheets are awes...
my hair is so different... -___- hahaha.
so it was an alright morning. had a good night and woke up on time. fixed my new hair. oh btw i got a hair cut. and fixing in the morning is like... wow. i need a BLOW DRYER. how gay right? hahaha. so now i think imma set my alarms 10 mins earlier now... -___- unless i decide to beanie it up. well anyways. it was alright. rain didn't bother me much. class was EH. i forgot my lecture notes so i just sat there studying and texting people. goodness. then yeah.
the beginning of the held back anger...
HAHAHA. that sounds so interesting.
oh but before that. i just have to say, i changed my bed sheets the other day and ZOMG. these sheets totally own my old ones. they're SUPER soft. i love it. hahaha.
but yeah. so typical break. justin, jeff, gerald, and i were sitting in the union playing pusoy dos and yeah. fun stuff. then i hear a drop and my feet are suddenly wet. some guy drops his drink on my feet as he sits down at the table beside me. i naturally said its ok kuz im not gunna get mad at him. im not even sure if i heard him say sorry. but yeah. he just SAT THERE like wth... he did not even make an effort to clean up or offer to help me. meanwhile, i walked to the bathroom 4 or 5 times getting wads of paper towel to clean up his ice tea that was all over the floor where i was sitting. ugh... all he did was get up and get more ice tea. i was just.. stunned how he simply sat there eating and watching tv while i was bent down cleaning up the mess. i really wanted to hold it back but i said a lot of bad stuff. it was kinda hard to keep my cool and stuff. i was just like... wow. wth... cmon man. i hope there was a legit reason he acted the way he did.
but yeah. i'm glad i was raised the way i was. to be respectful and calm when it comes to things like that. i might burst out when its like... people i'm comfortable or close with but i'm not going to blow up on someone that i don't even know. but seriously, i wanted to take the paper towels i was wiping the floor with and just throw it in his face. ughhh. hahaha.
ANYWAYS. that's all. now i'm home. dry. toasty. these bed sheets are awes...
my hair is so different... -___- hahaha.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
ignorance.
is bliss.
for the most part.
but then there's times when you wanna break that ignorance to find some clarity for once.
i am so tired. as in. bushed. wow.
for the most part.
but then there's times when you wanna break that ignorance to find some clarity for once.
i am so tired. as in. bushed. wow.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
people.
people's shoes. just thought it looked cool.
darryl being raped by lester
donna dying of laughter
like phil, i also had a dream last night. it was... one of those dreams where you wanted to stay in that moment forever. nothing weird going on. no monsters or whatever. just... a dream of what feels like reality. one of those long dreams that you just wanna hold onto and never really wake up. but of course... you have to wake up one way or another. yuck...
ugh... life is getting to me. i hate it.
i hate how... people can ask me for advice and i give it to them and it's so great. but... i don't even apply it to myself. i'm such a hypocrite. blahhhhhhhh
just another winter. another storm. another valley. when it rains, everyone gets wet. so why NOT me? another part of life...
another opportunity to grow. another opportunity to trust. another way to build my faith. another day to learn something new.
just another day...
HOPE, NOT DESTROY. cmon jong...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
private?
i dont like how blogspot doesn't have an option to post private blogs. eh.
i think imma just go back to my old xanga then. use this blog for when i really feel like i should say something here. or to share pix.
i think imma just go back to my old xanga then. use this blog for when i really feel like i should say something here. or to share pix.
reasons.
late huh. 434am. what a night...
so reasons. behind every happening. behind every setback. behind every situation, God has a reason that it happens. things don't just... happen by chance. God works to make everything work in perfect harmony. we just don't see it immediately all the time. sometimes God tells you no to something that you feel should be a yes. but no matter what you think, you should always think back to who knows better, you or God? it happened to me and it was confusing on what was going on. but eventually, after the confusion, there's always a clear view of what is going on and you find peace and understanding.
wow.
it's amazing how when God closes a window, He opens a door. bible study showed me that tonight. God showed me that tonight. you really just have to trust and wait upon Him to see what He wants to happen. even though i live my life a certain way and feel that i'm in control, i have to learn that God is the one who is leading me and i have to stop doing everything on my own volition and what i feel is best.
it's just really cool how at the end of the night tonight, every little thing came into perfect perspective. things worked out exactly how they should have. God doesn't miss. everything He does is beautiful, in time.
beattitudes ftw. bible study is awes. just ask my friends<3
so reasons. behind every happening. behind every setback. behind every situation, God has a reason that it happens. things don't just... happen by chance. God works to make everything work in perfect harmony. we just don't see it immediately all the time. sometimes God tells you no to something that you feel should be a yes. but no matter what you think, you should always think back to who knows better, you or God? it happened to me and it was confusing on what was going on. but eventually, after the confusion, there's always a clear view of what is going on and you find peace and understanding.
wow.
it's amazing how when God closes a window, He opens a door. bible study showed me that tonight. God showed me that tonight. you really just have to trust and wait upon Him to see what He wants to happen. even though i live my life a certain way and feel that i'm in control, i have to learn that God is the one who is leading me and i have to stop doing everything on my own volition and what i feel is best.
it's just really cool how at the end of the night tonight, every little thing came into perfect perspective. things worked out exactly how they should have. God doesn't miss. everything He does is beautiful, in time.
beattitudes ftw. bible study is awes. just ask my friends<3
Thursday, February 5, 2009
walk,
don't run.
i'm excited for school just because i actually feel like i can sleep easy since i've studied so much for anatomy. i put a lot of effort into this and i can't wait to see that test and KILL IT!
i like how... i worried so much about how i'm supposed to handle this class with everything i have to learn. i just really had to give it up to God and let go of what I CAN DO, and focus on what HE CAN DO. 203984234th time hearing it...
"let go, and let God."
He truly provides when we ask. it's great. =D that's love right there. despite everything i've done against what He wants and what is right in His eyes, He still blesses me with what i have asked for, AND so much more.
amazing right?
right.
no. left. HAHA. hot cookies ftw.
slow dancing in a burning room; gabe bondoc. wowzers. melt my ears one more time. hahaha.
that is all. =D GOODnight indeed.
i'm excited for school just because i actually feel like i can sleep easy since i've studied so much for anatomy. i put a lot of effort into this and i can't wait to see that test and KILL IT!
i like how... i worried so much about how i'm supposed to handle this class with everything i have to learn. i just really had to give it up to God and let go of what I CAN DO, and focus on what HE CAN DO. 203984234th time hearing it...
"let go, and let God."
He truly provides when we ask. it's great. =D that's love right there. despite everything i've done against what He wants and what is right in His eyes, He still blesses me with what i have asked for, AND so much more.
amazing right?
right.
no. left. HAHA. hot cookies ftw.
slow dancing in a burning room; gabe bondoc. wowzers. melt my ears one more time. hahaha.
that is all. =D GOODnight indeed.
trouble sleeping.
just felt like... i needed some closure with my night. to go to bed with my mind at peace with God and with everything that's been getting to me.
so if you've ever read Psalm 23, it's one of the greatest comforts people can hear in times of trouble. verse 4 particularly talks about even though we may walk through the valley of death, we shouldn't be afraid because God is with us. His rod and staff give us comfort.
we are born into a world of trouble. some people say that when babies are born, they cry because it shows that their lungs and stuff are ok. but think about it... a baby was so secure in the mother's womb where it just had to sit and be happy without a care in the world because the baby was being cared for so greatly by the mom. when they were hungry, the mom provided. so some argue that the baby is crying because he/she was taken out of the comfort zone into a world of unpredictability and trouble. interesting idea... i wish i was still a baby.
i hate trouble. even though i know it's all there for me for a reason... i still hate it. it brings me down a lot and... it just puts me in a place that i hate to be. there are times when it feels like life has really gotten me down and its like... why is this happening? why me?
but my constant comfort in these times is always God's promises. always always always. dark valleys are scary but... it's not like you live in the valley. there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. i just have to remember that there's purpose in what i'm going through and valleys are just part of the natural landscape of the world. i have to go through it. and i will.
i know this is weird but... when we say WHY ME? we should be turning that around to WHY NOT ME? like... ok. i'm stupid. hahaha. i look at problems and focus on the negative. SO NEGATIVE. i suck at being positive sometimes. but yeah. why not me? because troubles are GOOD. why do we have to worry when we are being lead by the guy who created the problem. surely He knows His way around and is leading us on the right path. right? right.
trouble is like fire. it's scary and it hurts us. but it's necessary. God uses trouble to purify us. just as the analogy goes, we are refined in the fire as gold is. the goldsmith never takes His eye off of the work in progress and knows the right time to take the gold out of the fire. if He still sees impurities, the gold will continue to be refined until it is totally pure and He can see His reflection clearly in the gold.
get it? hope it makes sense and you could make the connection.
trouble isn't put it in our way to make us uncomfortable and what not. it's to help make us plyable for different situations and to build our faith and dependence on God to lead us through it. even though sheep are in scary situations like in a dark valley, they don't get scared because they keep their eyes fixed on the shepherd who is slowly leading them safely. and we musn't run through the valley but walk. you can't rush through things and expect things to be alright. you need to have assurance in your steps and where you are planting your feet.
like... have you ever seen those fences that filipinos have? they take broken glass and put it on the top so that people can't like... hop over it or whatever. but you can see cats walking on them. they don't run through them though. they take their time choosing each step wisely.
we should be like those cats. hahaha. so many animal analogies. but they make sense right?
but yeah. imma wrap this up because i wanna sleep soon. stupid school. hahaha. i just wanted to go over my notes from sunday to refresh my mind and put things into perspective.
so yeah. i guess with my problems, i always over think things. but it's just because... i forget to rely on God's protection and focus on the scary shadows in the valley. but remember, they're only shadows. they're bigger than reality and can scare us. but on the other hand, they can't harm us and most importantly, they can only appear when there is a light source. understand? coolness...
scared? what was i thinking... =P
goodnight!
so if you've ever read Psalm 23, it's one of the greatest comforts people can hear in times of trouble. verse 4 particularly talks about even though we may walk through the valley of death, we shouldn't be afraid because God is with us. His rod and staff give us comfort.
we are born into a world of trouble. some people say that when babies are born, they cry because it shows that their lungs and stuff are ok. but think about it... a baby was so secure in the mother's womb where it just had to sit and be happy without a care in the world because the baby was being cared for so greatly by the mom. when they were hungry, the mom provided. so some argue that the baby is crying because he/she was taken out of the comfort zone into a world of unpredictability and trouble. interesting idea... i wish i was still a baby.
i hate trouble. even though i know it's all there for me for a reason... i still hate it. it brings me down a lot and... it just puts me in a place that i hate to be. there are times when it feels like life has really gotten me down and its like... why is this happening? why me?
but my constant comfort in these times is always God's promises. always always always. dark valleys are scary but... it's not like you live in the valley. there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. i just have to remember that there's purpose in what i'm going through and valleys are just part of the natural landscape of the world. i have to go through it. and i will.
i know this is weird but... when we say WHY ME? we should be turning that around to WHY NOT ME? like... ok. i'm stupid. hahaha. i look at problems and focus on the negative. SO NEGATIVE. i suck at being positive sometimes. but yeah. why not me? because troubles are GOOD. why do we have to worry when we are being lead by the guy who created the problem. surely He knows His way around and is leading us on the right path. right? right.
trouble is like fire. it's scary and it hurts us. but it's necessary. God uses trouble to purify us. just as the analogy goes, we are refined in the fire as gold is. the goldsmith never takes His eye off of the work in progress and knows the right time to take the gold out of the fire. if He still sees impurities, the gold will continue to be refined until it is totally pure and He can see His reflection clearly in the gold.
get it? hope it makes sense and you could make the connection.
trouble isn't put it in our way to make us uncomfortable and what not. it's to help make us plyable for different situations and to build our faith and dependence on God to lead us through it. even though sheep are in scary situations like in a dark valley, they don't get scared because they keep their eyes fixed on the shepherd who is slowly leading them safely. and we musn't run through the valley but walk. you can't rush through things and expect things to be alright. you need to have assurance in your steps and where you are planting your feet.
like... have you ever seen those fences that filipinos have? they take broken glass and put it on the top so that people can't like... hop over it or whatever. but you can see cats walking on them. they don't run through them though. they take their time choosing each step wisely.
we should be like those cats. hahaha. so many animal analogies. but they make sense right?
but yeah. imma wrap this up because i wanna sleep soon. stupid school. hahaha. i just wanted to go over my notes from sunday to refresh my mind and put things into perspective.
so yeah. i guess with my problems, i always over think things. but it's just because... i forget to rely on God's protection and focus on the scary shadows in the valley. but remember, they're only shadows. they're bigger than reality and can scare us. but on the other hand, they can't harm us and most importantly, they can only appear when there is a light source. understand? coolness...
scared? what was i thinking... =P
goodnight!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
coldness.
but warm hearted. =D exciting
so today... well last night it started with me and donna remembering how phil and people wanted to go to dennys. FREE FOOD! sounds super cool right!?! me and donna kept trying to sleep but we were getting distracted beyond belief. we failed like 029384098234 times trying to sign off and go away. freaking phil kept sending us links. haha. well anyways... the plan was to wake up early at like... 5somn so we could get there at 6. yuckk... originally kim was going to come with me but yeah... i decided it would be better for her to sleep considering staying up late and her day of full blown cleaning. how i wish i put that consideration onto myself... freaking woke up super early and threw on my clothes. peacoat ftw. hahaha. it was so cold. so i pull up and... WTH. ONE MILLION PEOPLE AT DENNYS. the hell is that. AT 615AM!?! ughhh... they would. freaking 1-1 1/2 hour wait... not the business. we just ended up going to school for some of that PRIME parking. yennoe... the kind when no one is on campus kuz only ids go that early. HAHAHAHA PHIL DIDNT HAVE CLASS TIL 11 AND WE ALL HAD CLASS AT 8! sorry phil. hahaha. so we just ended up going to the nugget to get some breakfast. yummers. good times with gerald, the don, and arthur jeremy.
i miss those names we used to use all the time.
english class was EH. didn't write anything or learn much of anything. but i'm really exciting to have my teacher kuz he's one of the past coordinators for the wpe and he wrote the wpe practice books so yeah. i think God put me in the right hands yeah? thanks =D. then... brizzeak. study with ria ria bo biaaa. then yeah... quiz in anatomy lab. GULP. naaaaat that mess was of the EASE. too bad ria, justin, and i all got 1 wrong. hahaha. but pro nation for sure! learn about the brain for 3 hours... sighhhhhh. but it's koo. i got a lot of it down. so proud of myself! then yeah. the boredom that is geography. but we have our awes table for 5 so it wasn't THAT bad. but i was pretty tired from my day so far. then yeah. drove around the structure with kim trying to find her car. hahaha oh goshhhhh... that id =P then went to eat at panda. yummers. went home and SLEPT<333. i love sleep. hahaha. then yeah. ugly school related dilemmas that were not even worth my time... then a good night of studying and movies with kimbo. fun fun fun.
i actually wrote about my day. hahaha. weird... i haven't done a blog like this in a while. lots of blessings. good stuff. thank you God. =D
bushed. goodnight blogspot.
so today... well last night it started with me and donna remembering how phil and people wanted to go to dennys. FREE FOOD! sounds super cool right!?! me and donna kept trying to sleep but we were getting distracted beyond belief. we failed like 029384098234 times trying to sign off and go away. freaking phil kept sending us links. haha. well anyways... the plan was to wake up early at like... 5somn so we could get there at 6. yuckk... originally kim was going to come with me but yeah... i decided it would be better for her to sleep considering staying up late and her day of full blown cleaning. how i wish i put that consideration onto myself... freaking woke up super early and threw on my clothes. peacoat ftw. hahaha. it was so cold. so i pull up and... WTH. ONE MILLION PEOPLE AT DENNYS. the hell is that. AT 615AM!?! ughhh... they would. freaking 1-1 1/2 hour wait... not the business. we just ended up going to school for some of that PRIME parking. yennoe... the kind when no one is on campus kuz only ids go that early. HAHAHAHA PHIL DIDNT HAVE CLASS TIL 11 AND WE ALL HAD CLASS AT 8! sorry phil. hahaha. so we just ended up going to the nugget to get some breakfast. yummers. good times with gerald, the don, and arthur jeremy.
i miss those names we used to use all the time.
english class was EH. didn't write anything or learn much of anything. but i'm really exciting to have my teacher kuz he's one of the past coordinators for the wpe and he wrote the wpe practice books so yeah. i think God put me in the right hands yeah? thanks =D. then... brizzeak. study with ria ria bo biaaa. then yeah... quiz in anatomy lab. GULP. naaaaat that mess was of the EASE. too bad ria, justin, and i all got 1 wrong. hahaha. but pro nation for sure! learn about the brain for 3 hours... sighhhhhh. but it's koo. i got a lot of it down. so proud of myself! then yeah. the boredom that is geography. but we have our awes table for 5 so it wasn't THAT bad. but i was pretty tired from my day so far. then yeah. drove around the structure with kim trying to find her car. hahaha oh goshhhhh... that id =P then went to eat at panda. yummers. went home and SLEPT<333. i love sleep. hahaha. then yeah. ugly school related dilemmas that were not even worth my time... then a good night of studying and movies with kimbo. fun fun fun.
i actually wrote about my day. hahaha. weird... i haven't done a blog like this in a while. lots of blessings. good stuff. thank you God. =D
bushed. goodnight blogspot.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
inked.
i got tatted today. hahaha.
my niece hannah was at church today. i loooooove her! she's super cute. i want a daughter that's as cute and fun as her. she's amazing. so i took her out of sunday school and we were running around and ended up playing in the playground and she had a little pack of dora the explorer tattoos. she gave me the only one with boots on it because i guess she didn't want to give me one of the actual dora ones. hahaha. oh well. but yeah. tattoo!
oh hannahdeng... i swear. my brother and i spoil her with more love than she needs. hahaha.
hmm... so superbowl today? WOHOO! too bad im not really into sports... is that a bad thing that everyone has some sort of passion for some sport but then... i dont? hahaha. iono... it's all cool and stuff but... i never really had it in me to go out and join a sports team or decide which sport i like the best. i guess... i'm more into arts and stuff. i suck at physical stuff. hahaha.
whatevs. =P not trying to envy anyone for what they have. it's easier to count my blessings than what i lack. di ba?
that is all.
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- j0ngster
- i love,God ,my family, my friends, photography, music, more than an about me can tell you. just ask. iLove.