1's and 2's

sigh... i wish my dreams of turntablism worked out better.

i really miss my stanton t.60s. i just wish i had a better mixer that cuts clean instead of the crap i had. AND i wish the lady at stupid guitar center didn't lie and sell me the fake idea of serato. sigh...

scratching is so dope! but yeah. quite the expensiveness. oh well.



can't get everything you want in life. just be thankful for what God has already blessed you with, right?






i want cookies and milk... hahaha

chance.

ever hear the story of job?

God and satan had an idea to test job, one of God's greatest followers. the deal was to let satan do whatever to him, but not kill him and they were to see if He would curse God. so satan killed his whole family, destroyed his riches, killed off all his flocks. furthermore, he was inflicted with burning boils all over his body which he ended up just scratching with a piece of a pot.

imagine that. losing EVERYTHING you had. everything you've ever worked for. EVERYTHING. that's such a hard thing to fathom. i can barely imagine my life without the people in it. even just not having the bed i'm laying in right now.

the amazing thing is that despite the tragedy and everything that was happening, job NEVER cursed God. job didn't know the circumstances or reason why this was happening, but he trusten in his Lord that it was His will. still he praised God no matter what.

NO MATTER WHAT.

you know, many people believe in chance and luck. stuff of that sorts. but for me, i know my life isn't just a big clutter of happenings that I can define by the things i do. everything i do, it happens for a reason. the feelings i feel, the thoughts i think, everything. it all happens because God put it in me. not myself.

chance has no part in our life. nothing comes into our lives without God's permission.





crazy huh.


just wanted to share my devotion with whoever's out there reading. hope you took something from it.

have a blessed day.

worry.

i worry too much. my friend's have said it. my mom even said it to me just now.

sighhh...

i hate that about me. i worry so much to a point where it totally consumes my mind. i think wayyy too hard about the future and what's going to happen next. if i'll be ok, if others will be ok, what's going to happen next, where am i going.

God is my shepherd. i am the sheep. He leads me. therefore, i should not worry about where i'm going. it's all in God's hands. He never gives up on His sheep. His love never changes.

amazing love.




ew. i hella did not do my devotional this weekend. -___- that threw me off a lot. yucky.

but still, i will rejoice. =D




GOODNIGHT!

broken.

never in day (well night) have i broken my new years resolution so many times. yuck...

it's just kinda gross how after being good for a while, there's always still that old nature i have hidden in the back back of me that comes out when i'm not thinking.

but yeah. like in 2 Corinthians, i know this problem isn't REALLY a problem. it's something i have to go through. =P and i know i'll get over it. someday.

that's my problem i think. i want change to happen NOW! like... i expect things to occur right after i say them or soon after. but yeah. that's not how life goes. everything is BABY steps. you go slow. really really slow. no need to rush. if you rush it, you might mess up right? HAHAHA! i hella used that in my essay yesterday.

but yeah. on a serious note. it's not the best way to RUSH somewhere right. you have to drive slow, watch out, make sure everything is safe and secure before you make the next move.

rome wasn't built in a day.

HAHA I USED THAT TOO!

ugh im so lame. honestly, i'm just burning minutes before i feel that i should go to school. ugh... i hate my nose btw. i can NEVER breathe through both sides. one side is always (no joke. ALWAYS) stuffed with whatevers. iono... it's been like this for years. i barely have moments when i breathe deep with both of my nostils. i'm so jealous of people with awesome noses. hahaha. i wonder why i can't breathe through both... i talked to my doctor and she said try that thing where people use like... tea pot kinda things and put it in their nose and have the water run through. wow... hahaha. MAYBE? it looks kinda interesting. kinda... soothing? but it looks really weird.

if anyone has one, can i borrow?

whatevs. no big deal.

i guess i'll go to school now... -____________________- hahaha





God is good.

inconsiderate.

this is my rant for today...

so it was an alright morning. had a good night and woke up on time. fixed my new hair. oh btw i got a hair cut. and fixing in the morning is like... wow. i need a BLOW DRYER. how gay right? hahaha. so now i think imma set my alarms 10 mins earlier now... -___- unless i decide to beanie it up. well anyways. it was alright. rain didn't bother me much. class was EH. i forgot my lecture notes so i just sat there studying and texting people. goodness. then yeah.

the beginning of the held back anger...

HAHAHA. that sounds so interesting.

oh but before that. i just have to say, i changed my bed sheets the other day and ZOMG. these sheets totally own my old ones. they're SUPER soft. i love it. hahaha.

but yeah. so typical break. justin, jeff, gerald, and i were sitting in the union playing pusoy dos and yeah. fun stuff. then i hear a drop and my feet are suddenly wet. some guy drops his drink on my feet as he sits down at the table beside me. i naturally said its ok kuz im not gunna get mad at him. im not even sure if i heard him say sorry. but yeah. he just SAT THERE like wth... he did not even make an effort to clean up or offer to help me. meanwhile, i walked to the bathroom 4 or 5 times getting wads of paper towel to clean up his ice tea that was all over the floor where i was sitting. ugh... all he did was get up and get more ice tea. i was just.. stunned how he simply sat there eating and watching tv while i was bent down cleaning up the mess. i really wanted to hold it back but i said a lot of bad stuff. it was kinda hard to keep my cool and stuff. i was just like... wow. wth... cmon man. i hope there was a legit reason he acted the way he did.

but yeah. i'm glad i was raised the way i was. to be respectful and calm when it comes to things like that. i might burst out when its like... people i'm comfortable or close with but i'm not going to blow up on someone that i don't even know. but seriously, i wanted to take the paper towels i was wiping the floor with and just throw it in his face. ughhh. hahaha.

ANYWAYS. that's all. now i'm home. dry. toasty. these bed sheets are awes...






my hair is so different... -___- hahaha.

ignorance.

is bliss.

for the most part.


but then there's times when you wanna break that ignorance to find some clarity for once.




i am so tired. as in. bushed. wow.

people.

people's shoes. just thought it looked cool.

darryl being raped by lester

donna dying of laughter

just some pix from friday night. funzies.

like phil, i also had a dream last night. it was... one of those dreams where you wanted to stay in that moment forever. nothing weird going on. no monsters or whatever. just... a dream of what feels like reality. one of those long dreams that you just wanna hold onto and never really wake up. but of course... you have to wake up one way or another. yuck...

ugh... life is getting to me. i hate it.

i hate how... people can ask me for advice and i give it to them and it's so great. but... i don't even apply it to myself. i'm such a hypocrite. blahhhhhhhh




just another winter. another storm. another valley. when it rains, everyone gets wet. so why NOT me? another part of life...

another opportunity to grow. another opportunity to trust. another way to build my faith. another day to learn something new.

just another day...





HOPE, NOT DESTROY. cmon jong...